


Mistakes of Christmas Present

by AfterGayight, Second_to_none



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life
Genre: Benrey-isms, Degradation, Established Relationship, Hair-pulling, Kabeshiri, M/M, Praise Kink, Sappy Ending, Tentacle Dick, Voyeurism, general stupidity, stuckage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28527114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AfterGayight/pseuds/AfterGayight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Second_to_none/pseuds/Second_to_none
Summary: It's Christmas Eve. They have places to be.This can't keep happening.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59





	Mistakes of Christmas Present

**Author's Note:**

> We did A Christmas Collab. It includes this fic and a drawing!  
> And yes, we're late. BUT, we started late so, it is what it is.  
> A link to the art can be found in the end notes!
> 
> Enjoy <3

Approaching the stairs, Gordon knocks on the wall loudly. “Benrey! It’s time! Come on, we gotta start preparing the food!”

There’s a bit of shuffling from upstairs as Benrey opens a door. “Yeah okay, just gotta end my stream bro.” Benrey’s prattling picks up again after a few seconds, wishing their followers a happy holiday. Sighing, Gordon makes his way into the kitchen, bringing out the ingredients they’ll need. 

Gordon had woken up early this morning to drop Joshua off at the Boomers’ house. The old coots had picked up the old person habit of waking up way too early in the morning. That shouldn’t be his problem, but somehow it ended up being just that. Bubby had insisted stubbornly that the child needs to eat Harold’s Special Breakfast when he comes over, throwing a huge fit whenever they were late. “Breakfast is _cold_ , Gordon! How can you disregard your child’s needs like this?!”

Gordon had been forced to comply eventually, if only to keep the peace. 

When he returned he’d hoped to lay down and cuddle back in with Benrey, but they had already gotten out of bed and started a stream. Which was unfortunate but not a massive deal. Gordon’s always made a point not to interrupt their streams, he can tell it’s important to them. The hush money they’d both received after the Resonance Cascade will keep them both comfortable for life, but it’s nice that Benrey had found a hobby. It’s honestly a bonus that it doesn’t involve harassing Gordon for playing games on his Xbox.

Benrey’s channel had blown up surprisingly quickly in the months after. Though their streams have no clear theme or set time people seem to show up regardless. Gordon’s guessing everyone’s just that invested in what Benrey will come up with next. One day they’d be streaming themself gaming and the next it could be “POV you’re hunting racoons in the park at 3AM”

That last one had been a hit with their followers. Most likely because the viewers hadn’t woken up with a racoon in their beds the next day. 

Gordon doesn’t even know why they decided to do a stream so early on Christmas Eve, they had been very vague when he had asked. So he’d taken a nap on his own, then drank coffee and played some games on his old Xbox. It had been a quiet morning, maybe a little lonely but nice overall.

Gordon’s pulled out of his musing as something pinches his ass. Jumping like a startled cat Gordon whips around. “Benrey! I told you not to sneak up on me! What if I was holding-” He’s cut off when they catch his lips, stopping his outburst before it can continue further. The kiss is soft and sweet, calming him within the second. Idly he notes that Benrey’s lips taste like vanilla, they must’ve bought a new type of energy drink. When they finally break the kiss Gordon touches his lips, they’re sticky.

Benrey’s all dolled up, this isn’t a rare occurrence but he hasn’t seen them look this put together in a long while. They’re wearing a red sweater that reaches past their hips, a cute reindeer printed on its front. A pair of long stockings envelops their legs, creating small indents where they’re squeezing their thighs. There’s a flashy pattern of christmas lights wrapping down their thighs, blinking green and red interchangeably. They’re also wearing the terrible elf slippers with bells they had bought last year. How had they even managed to sneak up on him with those on? 

What’s more surprising is the fact that they’re wearing makeup that matches their outfit perfectly. Their eyelids are dusted with a pretty red color, softening the sharpness of their crisp eyeliner. Red tinted lip gloss has their lips looking nicely plump and shiny, giving them that newly ravished look Gordon likes so much. The look is both cute and gaudy at the same time, as most of their outfits are.

His eyes catch a small but important detail, they have a little heart painted under their eye… 

That places the last puzzle piece in Gordon’s mind. Putting two and two together, Gordon speaks up. “Benrey, why are you dressed like an E-girl?

Benrey fishes a tube of lipgloss out of their pocket, spreading a new layer over their lips. “E-girls are in high demand bro. Also how would you know, you got a fap folder Gordo?” They glance at him in a sassy yet curious way, looking a little too interested in that last part to sell the unimpressed eye roll they follow up with. “Don’t need to do yourself like that, just ask me bro. I’ll do an epic fleshlight impression.” 

“No!? Of course I know what an E-girl is, they’re all over the internet! Also, please don’t compare yourself to a fleshlight.” Gordon rubs his temples. He hates Benrey at times like these. They make him want to lobotomize himself.

Pursing their lips at him, Benrey fixes him with a stare, looking wounded. “I can’t believe this… You don’t appreciate my Bussy.” They wave their lip gloss tube at him accusingly.

Sighing Gordon raises his hands at them, faking defeat. “Sorry man. You can call your ‘bussy’ whatever you want. You didn’t answer my question though, why are you dressed like an E-girl?”

“Twitch followers wanted a makeup stream. What, is that a problem? You misogynistic Feetman? Crime Boy gonna steal my look?”

Gordon can’t keep himself from groaning, even as he’s aware that they’re joking. “Oh my god stop, we’ve been over this. I support whatever you want to wear so long as it’s appropriate.”

Benrey smacks their lips, making a distrustful noise. “Suspicious.”

Their tone makes Gordon chuckle. “No it’s not. I like your makeup though, you’re a really pretty E-thot.” Gordon slips a hand around their waist, planting a kiss on their forehead.

When he pulls away Benrey’s face is flushed.. They stare at him for longer than what is normal before speaking up. “Mistletoe bro… Do it right.” Benrey mumbles as they point upwards. There’s a mistletoe ornament in their hair.

Gordon chuckles and kisses them once more before he lets them go. “Come on, we need to get everything started.”

The two of them get the ingredients out. Benrey’s tasked with making the glaze and marinade as Gordon takes charge of getting the ham prepared. They need to cut the fat off and cut ridges into it, easy. Or it should be, Gordon finds it isn’t as easy of a task as he expects as Benrey tries to eat the pieces he cuts off. They only stop their quest to eat the raw meat once Gordon threatens them with no kisses for a week. 

Finally managing to get done with the ham, Gordon throws the leftover pieces of meat into the bin. Benrey has yet to eat out of the trash, so he’s fairly certain the meat scraps are safe from their grubby claws in there. “Hey Benrey, can you start the dough?” he asks, getting a hummed affirmative in response. He goes to get oil from the pantry but is surprised when can’t find it. He could’ve sworn he bought some last time he went grocery shopping, searching frantically but still not finding it.

“Fuck, it looks like we’re out of cooking oil.” He looks at the clock, the stores haven’t closed yet. Bustling about the kitchen Gordon takes notes on what they might be missing. To his dismay it ends up being quite a few items, what a disaster this evening is turning out to be. “I’m sorry Benrey, I have to run to the store real quick. I’ll be back soon.”

As Gordon’s heading out the door, Benrey grabs him to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Better make it quick bro. Get that oil.” They give him a shit eating grin as they turn around to strut back into the kitchen, lifting their shirt slightly to show off a pair of red booty shorts with ‘naughty’ printed on their ass. When had they bought those? “These buns can’t be bread without it.” 

Trying to ignore the shiver that goes down his spine Gordon starts his trek to the store, closing the door behind him. Their terrible flirting gets to him as usual, he’s given up on fighting it at this point.

\---

Gordon fumbles with his keys, trying to get inside as quickly as possible. It’s a good thing Bubby and Harold took Joshua. He loves his son but cooking while having a toddler to keep track of is more stress than he needs. Hopefully they’ll still manage to get done on time. Gordon doesn’t want to sit through another of Bubby’s “time is money” speeches.

Getting the door open at last, Gordon hurries inside. “Benrey, I’m back! I was lucky, there was an unoccupied self-checkout register.” 

Benrey sounds weird when they answer, their words echoing curiously. “Yo, took you long enough.” 

Gordon glances over his shoulder to check on them and is surprised by what he finds. There’s an ass on full display in the kitchen. Namely Benrey’s ass, which he can easily identify by the nice plump shape. What are they doing? 

Looking closer Gordon realises they’re bent down and fiddling with something in the oven. “Hey don’t mess with that, we don’t have the time to fix it if you break it.” he warns, not looking to ruin their schedule even more.

Gordon sighs as he pulls his beanie off. This isn’t the weirdest thing he’s gotten home to since he and Benrey started living together, though they continue to surprise him everyday. They're usually up to no good when he goes out. “We need to preheat the oven, can you turn it to 250 degrees for me?” 

He hangs his scarf by the door, turning around to find that Benrey is still ass up in the air. 

Getting a little annoyed that Benrey’s ignoring him, Gordon tries again. “Benrey, we don’t have the time for this. I don’t want to be late for yet another Christmas dinner, do you remember last year? I’m not doing that again.” 

Benrey grunts as they pull on something in the oven, using their whole body weight to get extra force. “Hey! Cut it out! Get out of there before you actually fucking break it! What the fuck are you even doing?” 

Benrey scoffs at him irrately. “I would if I could Feetman. I’m kinda stuck-” Their voice is muffled, making it hard for Gordon to make out what they’re saying. 

“What do you mean stuck? What’s wrong?” Not bothering to shrug out of his jacket Gordon marches into the kitchen only to be horrified by what he sees. 

The kitchen is an absolute mess. Flour coats the floor in splotches, dusty footprints creating a chaotic pattern across the floorboards. A carton of milk lays on the floor, it’s contents having spilled and formed a massive pool. The apron that Benrey likes so much lays on the floor, not escaping the floury hell the room had become. Most confusing of all are the perfectly clean plates placed haphazardly over every available surface. It’s like a surrealist painting made out of his most deranged dreams. 

In the middle of it all is of course Benrey, the bane of his existence. 

They’re covered from head to toe in flour, looking like they had rolled in it. The little Christmas lights on their thigh-high stockings blink innocently, merry as ever as Gordon reconsiders his life choices. 

“Benrey…” Gordon tries really hard to keep the irritation out of his voice. “What happened to the kitchen?” 

The bells on their elf slippers ring joyously as they shuffle their feet, contrasting their clear embarrassment. “You were gone for so long, I-I was gonna be nice. I just wanted to help bbro. Getting stuff out and- I was getting the milk. But then it spilled. And I- I tried to clean it but then everything fell over- I was gonna be nice, but I ruined everything and then- then I went to hang out in the oven for a while.” 

Groaning, Gordon pinches the bridge of his nose. He should have expected something like this. “I was only gone for 20 minutes though, couldn’t you just have waited for me? How did you even manage to get stuck?” he asks, trying not to be upset. Them showing up to the get-together on time looks more unlikely by the second. 

“I dunno bro… I was just trying to be good. And now my hair’s stuck… ruining my updo, I was pretty… you’re like, being mean to me…” Benrey mumbles, clearly distressed by the situation they’d gotten themself into. 

Gordon feels himself grow soft inside, he can’t be mad at them. They had just wanted to help, Benrey’s obviously upset about the mess they made. Walking up to the oven he places a comforting hand on Benrey’s hip, avoiding the powdery substance covering them. “It’s okay man, we’ll get this cleaned up in no time. Maybe if we get the food done-” Gordon doesn’t get to finish as he’s interrupted by Benrey. Seems like Gordon spent too much time not helping, their typical bratty attitude returning full force.

They stomp their feet impatiently. “Gordo Meanman fail care momence, like and subscribe for more. Get me out of this box please? Benny boy want out? Please and thank you? ” They sound considerably crankier than a few seconds ago. 

Maybe he’s being mean but he can’t help but tease them, it’s usually him getting clowned on. Taking the chance Gordon hooks a finger into the hem of their shorts, pulling to snap the elastic against their hip. “What’s with the tone all of a sudden, you’re being naughty now huh?” He jokes, tracing the ‘naughty’ letters branding their ass. 

A sharp breath passes Benrey’s lips at the sensation of elastic colliding with their skin. Their tone is more easy going when they answer. “Yeah bro. Santa’s ‘Good List’? Don’t know her.” 

It seems Benrey isn’t too upset after all, what a relief. Fiddling with the hem on their shorts, Gordon muses out loud. “You know, this reminds me of a meme.” Taking on a funny voice Gordon slaps their plump butt playfully, sending flour flying every which way. “Buenos dias Benrey.” Benrey lets out a choked mix between a laugh at the reference and a groan at the impact, finishing the meme begrudgingly.

“Imbecil.”

Gordon’s dick gives an interested twitch despite the humorous mood they’ve created. Trying to play it off he continues prodding Benrey, riding the high of being the one doing the teasing for once. “What’s with the noises Benrey? You getting a little worked up man?” 

They make an exaggerated sniffing noise. “I dunno Hornyman, you tell me. I’m not the one who started it. I can like, smell your dick from over here bro.” Benrey says in a nonchalant voice, kicking Gordon playfully in the shin for his cheeky remark. 

Not rewarding them with an answer, Gordon dives in with another jab. “I’m not the one with my ass in the air, head stuck in an oven.” He dodges a second kick coming in his direction, laughing merrily. As an afterthought he adds “Please don’t ever say you can smell my dick again.”

Benrey scoffs, wiggling their hips a little. “Yo, why you talkin’ ‘bout my ass bro? Kinda gay.”

Gordon leans over their back, letting his hot breath hit their neck as he practically purrs in their ear. “Well, maybe because we’ve been together for over two years? And you like to get said ass clapped _Several._ Times. A. Week?” He slaps their ass with every word. 

Benrey whines at that, arching to present their ass to him. “Yo can you like shut up and fuck me? I’m bent double over here. ‘m sexy as hell bro. You’re being kinda sus, not even clapping my cheeks for real. I bet you’re homophobic.” They accuse, using their age-old trick to get under Gordon’s skin.

Gordon chuckles incredulously, not cowed by Benrey’s antics. “Benrey, we are gay. That doesn’t make sense.” He knows they’re only goading him to get what they want. 

He can practically hear how Benrey purses their lips at him, faked mistrust apparent in their voice. “I dunno bro, you’re not doing any clapping yet… No dick shaped presents under the tree...” Benrey smacks their lips in that detached but sassy way only they can pull off. “Gay and home-of-phobic isn’t a good look on you Feetman.” 

Gordon shakes his head at their shenanigans. “Alright, you win, but it will have to be quick.” His dick is already chubbing up in anticipation, this wasn’t how he was planning Christmas Eve to go but he’s not complaining. “Can I at least get you out of the oven first? That can’t be comfortable.” He reaches forward to let them loose but stops when Benrey speaks up.

“Can you?”

Something about how Benrey says that reminds him of another time they’d been in this situation. 

It had ended with him getting bit. 

Okay, so maybe it’s better to indulge them with some oven-fucking. Gordon isn’t necessarily looking to get bit by his little brat of a boyfriend _just_ for trying to be considerate. They’re the one who’s gonna have a blown out back later for being difficult, not him. 

Deciding not to try his luck with the Saw-esque mystery box the oven was proving to be, Gordon instead pulls their shorts down. Better to try his luck with the back of the box than to get his finger caught in a beartrap.

Benrey’s wearing one of their lace thongs that they’d made him buy for them. As much as he supports them wearing whatever they want, Gordon wishes they hadn’t made such a scene of it. Running up and grabbing handfuls of thongs, even stuffing some in their mouth just wasn’t a polite way to act in public. The cashier had looked at Gordon weird as he’d wrestled them out of the shop, only pausing briefly to slam a wad of dollar bills on the counter on their way out. They could’ve _asked_. Gordon’s not mad about that anymore though, the thongs fit them nicely. Benrey had “thanked” him appropriately after the fact too, which was thoughtful of them. 

Gordon runs a thumb over the fabric, admiring the fine red lace. The vibrant colour contrasts beautifully against their pale skin. Slipping his finger down their lace clad ass his fingers catches on something, Benrey’s wearing their favourite bedazzled buttplug. A shiver runs down his spine, it’s the big one. “Benrey, why are you wearing this? When did you even have time to put it in?”

They purr at him, very smug at hearing his voice waver. “Wouldn’t you like to know scienceboy? Slipped it in this morning, not that you noticed. Snuggle monster too busy dreaming to help a bro out.” 

Gordon’s breath hitches at the thought of that, Benrey preparing themself as he’s holding them tight. They’d be gasping into his chest, fingers working to stretch themself open. Being ever so thoughtful by muffling their moans, letting Gordon rest peacefully. Then once Benrey’s ready they’d push the plug up their ass, letting it slip all the way in until it’s nestled deep inside them. Gordon wishes he could’ve seen it, heard the sweet noises they’d let out.

As he’s imagining it all a second time another thought emerges, Benrey must’ve had it in while streaming earlier. The thought of them sitting in front of the camera while having such a dirty secret shoved up their ass makes Gordon's ears heat up. He’d watched their streams before, they couldn’t have been as lively this time around. Sitting perfectly still except for when they need the mirror, the plug shifting inside them as they lean forward. Having to pretend that they can’t feel the steady pressure of the plug pushing against their walls. Focusing on keeping their hands steady as they’re talking to the chat, it wouldn’t do to mess up their eyeliner. 

His fantasy is cut short as Benrey deadpans. “Suspicious. Why you so quiet Gordo? Not wearing your Black Mesa Mandated Buttplug™? You straight?”

Shaking himself Gordon lets out a distracted laugh. “No, I’m a top. Also, Black Mesa doesn’t exist anymore, you’re just a slut.”

Benrey’s unperturbed by Gordon’s accusation. “Damn that’s crazy, couldn’t be me. Fuck me now tho? Yule Log for Benny?” Bouncing on their toes Benrey wiggles their ass, the little bells on their curled elf slippers chiming with the movement.

Well, since they’re asking so nicely, who is Gordon to refuse? 

He plays a little with the lace panties before pulling them down, revealing the deep blue gem embedded in the plug. It’s weirdly beautiful sparkling in all its glory. Gordon isn’t sure who thought to add gems to buttplugs but they need a raise. 

Gripping the end Gordon pulls the plug halfway out before thrusting it back in, testing the stretch. That elicits a sultry moan from Benrey as the plug sinks into them again. “Y-yo, I did a good job. Used so much lube. Don’t gotta camp the bushes. Just gotta dive in, gank botlane. Easy clap. I’m like, at critical health bro and-”

Their rambling cuts off with a moan as Gordon squeezes their ass. He thrusts the plug in a few more times, feeling them shudder at his ministrations. “That’s funny. You know as much as I do that I have to make sure. You’re too much of a size-king to know what’s good for you.” Gordon’s pleased to find they weren’t lying however. The slick plug sinks into Benrey’s ass effortlessly, hole stretching to take the girth. 

He pulls the plug out, earning a whine from Benrey. Feeling benevolent, he slips two fingers inside, rubbing circles into them. That earns him a pleased groan from Benrey, their walls fluttering around his fingers as they try to lean back on the appendages. 

Humming thoughtfully Gordon debates where to put the plug. He doesn't want to put it directly on the counter, that’s where the food goes. It feels like a crime somehow. A nearby plate catches his eye…   
It’s not ideal but it’ll have to do. Placing the plug on the plate Gordon pushes it away from the edge, before focusing back on Benrey’s ass. 

Gordon traces gentle kisses down their back as he fumbles with his belt. He groans with relief when he manages to shove his pants out of the way, taking his dick in hand. He gives it a few pumps, smearing pre-cum over it before spitting on his hand. Benrey might have prepared, but too much lube is a social construct. 

Benrey’s hand snakes back, fishing something out of the pocket of their shorts. They wave it in front of Gordon’s face to get his attention. It’s a bottle of lube. So they _had_ been planning something. He wonders what it could’ve been as he dribbles some lube on his cock, idly slathering it across his length with a hand. He’s still fairly certain their oven wasn’t part of the equation, but knowing Benrey this could’ve been a ploy from the start.

Gordon leans forward as he lines up his dick with their ass, letting Benrey feel the pressure of his cock pushing at their rim. “Here we go, open up for me darling.” Gordon coaxes sweetly, trying to tease a reaction out of them. 

Benrey makes a mewling noise at the endearment, sounding just as good as Gordon expected. The bells on their slippers chime as Benrey shuffles their feet, spreading their legs wider in invitation.

Taking a moment, Gordon looks them over, admitting the view to memory. What a sight to behold. Their hands grip the sides of the oven, knuckles turning white as they press their fingers into the metal. Benrey’s pale skin is flushed with arousal as they shamelessly display their ass to him, body language begging for Gordon to fuck them. They’re honestly beautiful, not even a liberal coating of flour can change that.

Giving in, Gordon pushes the head of his cock in, stopping for a few seconds before pushing further. Their slick ass feels amazing. He has to stop himself from thrusting all the way in, trying to take it slow even as they take his cock like a dream. 

Benrey is panting lewdly when Gordon’s hips come to rest against their ass. He runs a hand up their side soothingly, pulling the terrible Christmas sweater away from their face. "You doing okay pumpkin?" 

Their face and ears are flushed with a lovely mauve as they let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, totally pog. K-keep going now? Rearrange Benny’s guts like a pumpkin please?”

That punches a laugh out of Gordon, surprised that they’re even coherent. "Come on, it’s not Halloween."

“You brought pumpkins into this bro. Try’na fuck a pumpkin, kinda cringe.” Benrey manages to squeeze out defiantly, still panting breathlessly.

Gorgon rakes his nails across their lower back as a response to their attitude. “It’s just a pet name, man. You always come up with the worst, most fitting jokes. You can do better than Halloween references on Christmas, get the season right and I’ll fuck you.” He promises, curious to see what their deranged brain can come up with. 

After just a second to think Benrey’s shifting to look Gordon right in the eye. “I want you to come down my chimney and pump my stockings full using your salty eggnog-”

Gordon hurries to stop them, regretting his decision immediately. “Okay please stop. Oh my- I hate that.” He should know better than to let them off the figurative leash like that.

Benrey lets out a short cackle, waving a hand dismissively from inside the oven. “Whatever Feetman, I’m a pro-gamer. I’m cool. Better rearrange my guts now or I’ll steal your toes like the Grinch stole Christmas.”

Gordon sighs theatrically. “I guess yeah. I should’ve just fucked you and left it at that, didn’t need to traumatise myself like that.” Getting a good grip on their hips Gordon rocks into them using slow shallow thrusts. Benrey’s hips are at just the right height to get a good angle, pushing into them just right. 

Benrey’s breathing picks up again, but it isn’t enough however. Gordon’s holding back on them, not pushing all the way in. They quickly find out that rutting back into Gordon is futile, their hair keeping them fixed in place. “Come on, gotta scramble my guts with your massive candy cane cock bro.”

“Yeah?” Gordon laughs in spite of himself, they really have the worst way with words. He runs a hand across their back leisurely, deepening his thrusts but still going nice and slow. “This better?”

Making a little noise in the back of their throat Benrey continues. “Yeahh, gotta level up tho. No weak shit, I want it hard Gordo. Jingle those bells faster for me? Jingle all the way?”

Humming thoughtfully Gordon pretends to think about that. “Why should I do that? You could at least ask nicely…”

Benrey huffs in frustration, drumming their fingers against the inside of the oven. “I’m asking nicely bro. Why are you being so mean? Just fuckin’- Smack your phat Christmas baubles into me. Please? You said we gotta be fast…”

They’re right on that part Gordon concedes, deciding to play along. “I guess that makes sense yeah. Don’t word it like that though, they’re not baubles.” Grabbing onto the counter for leverage, Gordon starts thrusting for real, the sound of skin hitting skin picking up. 

Moaning as their pleasure heightens, they dig their claws into the metal frame of the oven. “Like that yeahh~ _Crack_ those nuts- Gordo Nutcracker gonna give Benny boy nuts all Christmassss~” Benrey purrs, sounding very proud of themself.

Trying to ignore Benrey’s terrible innuendos, Gordon keeps up the pace. It’s time to change the subject from him cracking his nuts. Thinking back to his earlier fantasy is much more pleasant. “Do your fans know that you wore your buttplug during the stream?” Gordon wants to know, it’s been spinning in his mind for a while now.

A moan leaves Benrey’s throat as they shake their head. “No it- It was all for you bro. I’ve been good, waiting all day- Thinking about how good your dick would feel-” They pause to moan. “Had to do the stream tho, can’t skip.” 

“Oh yeah?” Gordon asks in a sly voice. He moves a hand to knead their soft ass, massaging it as he continues the interrogation. “You streamed for an awfully long time. You could’ve ended early, but you didn’t want to. I bet you were getting off on it too much. You enjoy having a dirty little secret shoved up your ass while everyone is none the wiser. You can’t fool me Benrey, I know what you’re like. How many hentai donation-events did you get huh? I bet you were waiting impatiently for when people would donate the right amount. Just so you could bounce a little extra in your chair and feel the plug shifting deep inside you.” The whine Benrey lets out tells Gordon he’d caught them. A shiver runs down his spine at the thought, he’ll have to watch the stream vod later.

Smirking, Gordon continues. “You really couldn’t pass up the chance, could you? You knew they wouldn’t see the difference. Your pretty expression bouncing on the plug wouldn’t look suspicious when you’re already supposed to be doing a porn impression. You’re a freaky slut you know?” 

Benrey’s panting heavily now, getting really into the degradation. On a whim Gordon grabs the nearby bowl of glaze. “Here, let me help you.” He pours the rest of the glaze over them, watching as the white liquid starts running down their ass and thighs. “Oh would you look at that, now you _look_ like a whore as well.” 

Gordon punctuates his sentence with a swift thrust, knocking a filthy moan out of Benrey. “Gordon- ah- wanna be your slut, I’m good~!” 

“Yeah you are, you’re so good to me.” he purrs, pinching their butt and pulling another moan from them. Leaning back, Gordon can’t help but smear the icing around, rubbing it into their thighs and back. “You ‘re so pretty covered in icing. Maybe I’ll have to glaze you more often.”

From between Benrey’s legs Gordon can feel their tentacle dick unsheath, brushing against Gordons balls. “Glaze me up yeahh. Love your glaze, ‘s all sticky. More please? More glaze for Benny?” 

They’re begging so nicely for him, he really can’t deny them huh?

Eager to please Gordon picks up the pace another notch, thoughtlessly pulling them back onto his dick. The movement does little more than pull Benrey’s hair. 

Their bells jingle as Benrey lets out a gasp, following up with a long moan. “Bro my- do it again please?” They quickly dissolve into a moaning mess when Gordon does as asked.

Fuck, Gordon hadn’t realized it but this is actually really hot. They’re stuck, hanging on for dear life completely at Gordon’s mercy. Having control over Benrey like this isn’t a thing he gets to experience often. Benrey will usually mock and goad Gordon the whole time, leading him by the cock to get what they want. But no, Benrey’s rendered speechless, too gone in the sensation to keep up their usual prattling.

A rarely seen dominant streak rises in him, giving him a boost of courage to continue the banter from before. “Wow you’re just letting me have all the control now? And you’re enjoying it, being so good for me. Maybe I’ll have to get something to tie you up with later. You’d be such a pretty little E-thot, tied up and obediently waiting for me to fuck you.”

Benrey’s sputters, incoherently starting sentences and trying to answer. Frustrated they prop their leg up to splay wider for Gordon, which is unfortunately not the best plan. Losing their balance, Benrey topples into the oven, not able to brace themself against the force of Gordon’s thrusts. 

Catching them by their shirt at the last second, Gordon manages to stabilize them again. “You’re really losing it huh? Knees going weak? You can’t even keep upright. Are you a little pillow princess Benrey?” He taunts, trying to get under their skin the same way they usually do. Through false accusations.

Benrey huffs out a whine in protest, their slippers jingling as they return their foot to the ground. Gordon knows he’s trying his luck, he’ll probably be paying for this when Benrey gets out. ‘They’re a _bratty_ pillow princess thank you very much.’ he thinks to himself, mentally chuckling at his own cleverness.

Gordon loves how clouded Benrey gets, devolving into a noncoherent whiny mess. In a way he’d love to make this last, fuck Benrey until they come and then keep teasing them until they’re an utter mess. Watch as the last of their brain cells go on vacation to Hornytown. Subconsciously he knows he has to speed things up though, not to mention he isn’t holding on so well either. 

Gordon tugs Benrey back again and again, spurred on by the sounds his partner makes. “You- fuck. You’re so pretty like this. Fucking- being compliant, taking my cock so well. My little Christmas miracle- All glazed up looking fucking fantastic-”

“Hnn- I wanna- I’m- please- I’m pretty- hah~! All for you. Need- you gotta- p-please~!”

Decoding Benrey’s broken begging, Gordon takes pity on them. Leaning over Benrey’s back, Gordon slips an arm around them to stroke their writhing dick. He brushes his fingers up its ridges before taking it in hand properly, jerking them off. Their dick tries to curl around his fingers, but he doesn’t pay it any mind.

It doesn’t take long before Benrey’s whimpering with every thrust, pushing up into Gordon in that adorable way as they seek more contact. Gordon lets go of the counter on instinct to wrap the arm around them, thoughtlessly placing his forehead in its place. 

Hugging them close he feels how their core goes stiff. Benrey’s whimpers are cut off, choking on a moan as they come. Their muscles clamp down on his dick as warm blue cum spills all over his hand, dripping down to stain the already messy floor. “Ah fuck- you feel so great- I’m-” Snapping his hips Gordon pants as he chases his own release, following them shortly afterwards. With a groan Gordon shoves his cock deep into them one last time, biting his lower lip hard as he cums. 

They stand there just breathing for a while, holding each other close as they come down together. Gordon relishes the feeling of Benrey’s spent body in his arms, feeling how they’re shivering with exhaustion. Mustering the strength Gordon finally rights himself, pulling out of them to take a step back. 

Benrey’s voice is shaky, trying to say something to him that doesn’t register. Gordon’s mesmerised by the sight of cum leaking out of Benrey’s flushed ass and down their slit. It mixes with the icing as it travels downwards, dribbling down their thighs in an appetizing display. He can’t help himself as he sinks to his knees, licking a stripe up the curve of their ass. 

Whatever Benrey was saying turns into a high pitched moan as they push back on his face. Gordon works his tongue down their thigh, self-indulgently lapping up the cum mixed icing. It’s a savoury mix of them both, the sugary twist adding a sweet kick that Gordon finds is weirdly alright. Taking his time, he works his way back up Benrey’s inner thigh, eventually returning where he’d started. Gordon is very thorough as he cleans them. He slips his tongue between their folds to lick their slit clean, lapping and sucking at them gently. He can feel their pulse against his lips as he works, hearing them gasp with overstimulation. Once satisfied he licks broad strokes up to their ass, collecting the last of their cum.

By the time Gordon leans back to inspect his work Benrey is whining. The tip of their dick peeks out of their slit, wriggling around excitedly. It’s oddly cute, sticking out like that. 

Gordon pats their ass, idly stashing his dick back in his pants as he rises to his full height. “Alright man, let’s see about getting you out of there.” 

Benrey makes a whiny noise, voice breathless and wavering as they protest. “Yooooo, why’d you stop? I was getting there bro-” 

Ignoring their bratty prodding, Gordon goes to untangle Benrey’s braided bun. It had apparently gotten tangled with the topmost heating element. Getting them loose takes longer than expected, hair having tangled around the thick wires in a near impossible manner. It doesn’t help that Benrey’s being unhelpful, grinding their ass into Gordon’s crotch at every opportunity they get. Gordon’s dick twitches in spite of itself, not nearly ready to go again. He’ll always be a bit jealous that Benrey doesn’t seem to have a refractory period. 

Benrey is a mess when Gordon finally manages to get them out of the oven. Their face is flushed a deep indigo and pupils blown wide, showing clear as day how aroused they still are. Their pretty makeup and hair is ruined. The disheveled hair along with their smudged lipgloss and mascara paints an enticing picture, making them look deliciously ravaged. 

Giving Gordon a smile, Benrey grabs his jacket, pulling him down into a kiss. Their lips are soft and pliant, melding with his in a tender kiss. Gordon captures their waist with his hands, holding them close as he tries to match Benrey’s enthusiasm. When Benrey eventually breaks the kiss, Gordon is already mentally prepared to tell them off. ‘No we can’t have sex again, time is ticking.’

Benrey surprises him however by batting their eyelashes at him. “Yo, you saved me. Bro you’re like, my hero. So handsome and strong, what a perfect mate~” They say sweetly, wrapping their arms around his neck in a relaxed hug.

Gordon can’t help but puff up a bit at the praise, he’s kind of great isn’t he?   
“Of course, I’d do anything for you babe.” He answers back, wrapping them in a tight hug.

“Yeah? You’re the best, bro.” is the only thing Benrey says before pulling Gordon in for a second kiss. This one has more heat behind it. Their hands drifts up into Gordon’s long hair, pulling his hair tie out to comb though the strands soothingly. Gordon feels himself relax as a tingling sensation builds at the nape of his neck, he’s always loved when they’d play with his hair. 

One of Benrey’s hands starts to roam as they deepen the kiss. They stroke Gordon’s cheek lovingly, scratching pleasantly at his beard. He feels a shiver run down his spine as Benrey traces their sharp claws down his neck and chest, hand coming to rest on his stomach.

This time it is Gordon who takes initiative, slipping his tongue out to swipe along their lower lip. Benrey makes an appreciative sound as they take the invitation, opening their mouth to let him in. The kiss quickly turns passionate as their tongues tangle together. Gordon lets out a groan as Benrey catches his lip with their sharp teeth. They slip their hand under his shirt to rake their claws down his torso, teasing at the hem of Gordon’s pants before turning up again. 

Benrey’s warm body pressing against his is like a drug, muddling Gordon’s senses in the best of ways. Soon he’s panting into their mouth. There’s a heat building in Gordon’s abdomen, increasing in pressure as his blood rushes through his veins. Letting a hand come up to grab their jaw Gordon holds them still as he starts kissing down their neck, nipping at the marks he’d left there so long ago. Benrey whimpers at the attention, digging their claws into his side as they press closer to him.

The sweet noises make something click in Gordon’s subconscious, weren’t they… 

Putting two and two together, Gordon tilts their head to stare deep into their eyes. “I see what you’re doing. You’re a seductive piece of shit, you know that?” he wheezes at them, voice hoarse with lust. Gordon can’t decide if he’s supposed to laugh or be mad. They had managed to distract him, and make his dick reach a half chub way earlier than normal. This is ridiculous, he’s not twenty anymore but with how his dick is acting you could think so.

Benrey pouts at him, their plump lips looking enticing even as they frown. “Damn you’re being so mean, my dick is going blue over here bro.” 

Turning them around by their shoulders, Gordon leans in to whisper in their ear. “Your dick is blue. It’s literally blue at all times.” He gives them a smack on their bare ass, chuckling a bit as a shudder passes through their body. “Go take a shower, you look like a slut. As much as I love it, it isn’t fitting for dinner with the family.” 

Benrey gasps dramatically as they whip around, placing a hand over their chest in fake upset. “WOW. I can’t fuckin’ believe this. I’m a great cool, sexy getting your dick back up, and still? Not cool bro. You’re so cringe, I’ll go jerk off in the shower. All alone because Feetman is a cold, unforgiving partner.” They lament, voice full of hurt and sorrow. They then switch back to their usual monotone, throwing a mean look Gordon’s way before turning on their heel. “‘m gonna make you regret being so rude bro, shove your shampoo bottle up my ass.”

Gordon laughs as they hobble away towards the bathroom, elf shoes jingling merrily with every step. “I love you too Benrey.” He singsongs, waving at their retreating back.

Benrey pauses in the door and looks back at him. They roll their eyes at Gordon before blowing him a kiss, doing an exaggerated finger-wave back at him. Benrey can actually be rather cute at times Gordon muses, a warm feeling spreading in his chest at the display of affection. 

He immediately regrets that thought however, as they flip him off with a smirk. “You got flour on your face bro, and like, everywhere else too. Maybe _you_ should take a shower.” Dipping into the bathroom, they slam the door behind them pointedly, leaving Gordon on his own.

Looking down on himself Gordon realizes they’re right, he has flour and glaze all over himself. A swipe of his fingers across his forehead confirms that it’s on his face too. What a ‘nice’ surprise… He’ll have to shower after Benrey’s finished then, no way will they be able to control themselves otherwise.

Gordon stands in silence for a while, listening, waiting for the shower to turn on. The steady beating of water on tile tells him that they had decided to play nice. Huh. Benrey actually followed through this time, and didn’t hide in the washing machine like last month. That’s a relief.

Turning around to start cleaning the kitchen, Gordon sees something that he wishes he hadn’t. The mere sight of it punches him in the gut, launching whatever bravado left out of his body. On the counter lays the buttplug just as he had left it; on a plate, looking like a depressing Christmas dish. Gordon groans in defeat, going to hang his jacket in the entryway. He literally can’t handle this right now. He might as well go take a shower with Benrey.

Gordon drops off his ruined clothes in the hamper before entering the bathroom Benrey had gone into. Hanging his towel on the rack he speaks up, raising his voice to overpower the water. “Hey you know what? I had a change of heart, let me join you.” Noticing that Benrey’s suspiciously quiet, Gordon turns around. 

In the shower stands Benrey, radiating malice. They’re holding Gordon’s shampoo bottle to their ass.

A battle of wills ensues as they stare each other down, both taking the time and care to size up their opponent. If life had a soundtrack,this scene would be accompanied by an old western vinyl track. The suspense is high as both parties wait to draw the gun. 

The sheer look of spiteful determination on Benrey’s face has Gordon raising a hand placatingly. “Benrey. Put that down. You don’t want to do this.”

Benrey isn’t cowed by Gordon’s order, rising up to their full, albeit short, height. “What’s in it for me, Feetman?” Their grip on the plastic bottle tightens threateningly, daring him to test them.

Knowing full well how stubborn Benrey can be, Gordon hurries to strike a deal with them. “I’ll get you off again, just like you wanted.” He doesn’t want to spend the evening in the ER, again. That would suck.

Benrey makes a thoughtful expression as they tap their fingers against the bottle, considering the offer. Coming to a conclusion they reach a hand out towards him, making a grabbing motion his way. “Make it two and we have a deal bro.”

Lifting his hands in defeat Gordon chuckles at their boldness. “Alright man, you drive a hard bargain. Deal, now put that bottle down and scoot over. I’m coming in.”

Benrey makes a happy little chirrup as Gordon gets in with them, getting their hands on him the second he’s within reach. Gordon knows their water bill will suffer for this, but he can’t help getting excited as well. Hopefully the others won’t be too mad.

\-----

By the time they’re standing on the porch of the Pepper-Coolatta household they’re thirtyfour minutes late. Knocking on the door Gordon resigns himself to the tongue lashing he’s bound to get. To be noted is that he’s the only one that’s gonna get chided for being late, the others never get on Benrey’s case.

The door opens to reveal Darnold, he’s wearing a nice sweater with a pair of reindeer antlers. He smiles warmly as he greets them. “Hey! You two are late.”

Benrey opens their mouth, most likely to, in detail, explain exactly what they had done to be this late. Luckily Gordon manages to clamp a hand over their mouth before so much as a syllable passes their lips. 

Scratching the back of his neck, Gordon laughs apologetically. “Yeah sorry man. We forgot to buy some stuff and had some other troubles on the way. Hope you guys haven’t waited too long.”

Darnold hums at that, looking at him weird. “Well, it can’t be helped. We haven’t started anything yet. In fact, we were just going to call you. But, it doesn’t matter now that you’re here, please come inside.” He steps aside to let the two through the doorway, shutting it behind them.

They’re taking their coats off when another voice is heard. “Darnold? W-was that Benrey and Mister Gordon? They’re here n-now?” Tommy asks from upstairs. Receiving an affirmative from his husband, Tommy comes galloping down the stairs with a barking Sunkist on his heel. “Hi guys! It’s so nice t-to see you!” He wraps the two in a hug, squeezing them tight before backing off.

Tommy’s sporting a red dress shirt along with a pair of slacks, looking very proper but for the tie he’d yet to tie. Gordon’s delighted to see that Tommy’s also wearing a matching pair of reindeer antlers, just like Darnold’s. Had he thought further ahead then maybe he and Benrey could have matched too… 

Wrapping his arms around Darnold’s shoulders, Tommy beams at them. “You’re l-late as usual, mister Gordon. But I’m happy you could m-make it! Darnold made his Special Christmas Brew a-again, it’s really tasty!” Sunkist barks as if agreeing with her owner, sitting down by the couple’s feet.

A bit flustered at the compliment, Darnold distracts himself by fixing Tommy’s tie. “Mmm, yes. I...obviously had to make another batch this year, since you liked it. It’s Christmas after all, and a Special Christmas Recipe is to be... made then.” Righting the tie Darnold brushes some imaginary dust of Tommy’s shirt, fussing with his husband’s outfit.

Gordon can’t help but gush internally at how harmonious the two are together. It makes sense that the soda-loving ray of sunshine would be a perfect match for the soda-making man of science. He wraps an arm around Benrey’s waist subconsciously, maybe they’d be this cute too one day. Knowing them though, they’d most likely keep ‘going for each other's toes’, as Benrey had so lovingly put it, until the day they die. Benrey had called it romantic, but Gordon isn’t so sure about that.

Looking around Gordon realizes something is missing. “Hey, where are the Boomers and Joshua? I’d expect them to be lecturing me at this point but they’re being really quiet.”

That makes Tommy perk up. “Oh yeah, they’re not here y-yet. They warned us t-they would be late though, said you two were gonna be late a-anyway. But they’re g-going to show up any second now!”

As if on cue the four of them hear the tires of the old couple’s Cadillac screeching to a halt on the driveway. There’s some bustling outside before Bubby comes bursting through the door, carrying Joshua on his hip. The cake he’s balancing in his free hand sways dangerously as he swings it out in Tommy’s direction. 

“Hey fuckers! The party doesn’t start ‘til Doctor Feelgood’s arrived!” Bubby’s clad in an elegant off-the-shoulder dress. It’s skirt flourishes as dramatically as its wearer when he curtsies, making Joshua giggle. 

Tommy takes the cake readily, smiling excitedly at the grand entrance. “Welcome!” Sunkist pants happily, sitting obediently as her tail goes thumps against the floor.

Harold comes through the door a second later, carrying a myriad of bags. “Hello Gordon! Hello Captain Booper! Would you two move out of the way, these bags are heavy!” The outfit Harold had picked for the day can be neatly summarised as ‘grandpa clothes’, radiating a warm aura of comfort.

Gordon and Benrey scurries away from the door, letting Harold come inside. The old man unloads all the bags onto Gordon, who almost topples forward at their weight. Coomer pops his back audibly, announcing to the room “Hope you’ve prepared dinner, we’re hungry!”

Tommy, Darnold and Benrey relieve Gordon of the bags before his back breaks. Tommy hands one of them to Sunkist, who takes it excitedly. Eager to do well she leads the group to the kitchen, trying to bark the whole way there. 

Bubby goes to follow them but is stopped by Gordon. “Hey can I have Joshua?”

Bubby twists around to put himself in between Joshua and Gordon. “No. You were late fucker. I’m taking my grandchild, you’re too irresponsible!” Bubby sneers at him, daring Gordon to challenge him. It doesn’t matter that they’d been later than him, Gordon’s obviously at fault here.

With exhausted resignation, Gordon watches as Bubby stuts off with Joshua on his hip, Harold following right behind. On their way to the kitchen they meet Benrey, who holds their hands out expectantly. To Gordon’s surprise, Bubby hands Joshua over to Benrey without a word, fixing the child’s cowboy hat. The two old men disappear into the next room. 

It seems Bubby’s resolution to antagonize Gordon; only Gordon, is still going strong. He’s not even surprised.

Benrey saunters their way up to Gordon, talking quietly with Joshua. “Hey Joshie. I love the dress, it’s epic. Look, got my matching jingly boots. Twinsies~” they singsong in their signature valley girl accent. 

Joshua giggles hysterically, clapping his hands on Benrey’s face. “Thanks~ I like your makeup, it’s sparkly! I can have makeup too?” Joshua touches his own face, patting a hand on his cheek.

With a little smile Benrey nods. “Yeah sure Joshie. I’ll help you. No problem.” Getting up on their tippy toes Benrey presses a kiss to Gordon’s jaw, pushing Joshua into his arms. “Here, our child.” 

Joshua squeals as Gordon plucks him from Benrey, squirming as his dad nuzzles his face into his neck. “Daddy! NoooOOO- Tickles!” 

Letting up on the little tyke Gordon wraps his arms around Benrey. An intense adoration for his family washes over him, making his eyes sting mildly. Gordon plants a kiss on their heads, holding them close.

Fuck, Gordon’s really lucky, isn’t he?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, we'd love it if you left a comment telling us what your favourite parts were <3
> 
> The Art: https://twitter.com/aftergayight/status/1345803903493939202?s=20
> 
> We can also be found on:  
> https://twitter.com/aftergayight  
> https://twitter.com/secondtonon2  
> https://www.deviantart.com/aftergayight (not very active)


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